The One Man in the Universe Crazier than John McCain

Jonathan Lee Riches: "Master of the Fivolous Prisoner Lawsuit". My buddy just sent this to me via emailz. Highlights include:

Riches v. Tyson

Plaintiff alleges that defendant Mike Tyson threw him on the ground, bit his ear and kicked him in the ribs after plaintiff declined defendant's invitation to dance.

Riches v. McVeigh et al.

Plaintiff sued Timothy James McVeigh and Terry Lynn Nichols for blowing up his life. He alleged that defendants had a responsibility and duty to notify him how the Department of Justice worked. Had they warned him about the injustice, he would not be in prison nor would he be writing celebrity lawsuits against Americans who pay federal tax money to support his illegal incarceration. Plaintiff blamed defendants for metal detectors at courthouses, limits on the amount of fertilizer that American farmers can purchase, as well as higher sentencing guidelines. He further moved for GPS drone fighting forces to guard McVeigh's grave in case he re-rises like the Messiah and plays games with him like Patrick Swayze did to Demi Moore in Ghost.

Riches v. Willaims et al.

Plaintiff sued Venus Williams, Serena Williams, Richard Williams, the U.S. Open and Poltergeist. Plaintiff alleged that defendants are reaching through the television set to grab him during the U.S. Open, defendants took Van Gogh paintings from him, he taught Venus how to play table tennis in county jail, Senator Larry Craig uses the FCI Williamsburg bathroom, and defendants want to learn identity theft from him.

Riches v. Imus

Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches claims that he is a professional entertainer who specializes in music, identity theft, computer hacking, yoga, equestrian mule riding, coal mining, time travel and skeet shooting. He alleges that defendant Don Imus hired him for weekly performance shows at defendant's ranch for $3.5 million per year. Plaintiff further alleges that defendant would secretly record plaintiff and broadcast him without hiss consent, called him "A white nappy headed ho-mo," and fired him.

I also advise reading the suit against Wolfgang Puck. Just, read everything.