Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Dick!

Friedman is totally nuts, totally self-involved of course. Only a crazed American can look at Karzai's inviting the elected (or semi-elected, or sort-of elected) leader (or semi-leader, or sort-of leader) of the large, populous, regionally influential nation that shares its, and Afghanistan's, third longest land border solely and singularly as a bit of political theater directed at us and only us. I am not naive; plainly thumbing his nose at the American administration that so recently thumbed its nose at him was part of the point, but by our enterprising columnist's own admission, Karzai is a man with a scandalous and questionable electoral mandate, a weak security apparatus, and a fraglie coalition, ruling precariously over an ad-hoc city-state in the middle of a rugged country caunght between various insurgencies, rebels, and competing claimants, the American death machine, and the machinations of other-neighbor Pakistan's own government, insurgencies, intelligence, and security apparatus. One side against the other, in bed with everyone . . . fabulous stuff, man.

33 comments:

George Jones said...

There's a weird quasi-aware desperation to that column, like Friedman skipped breakfast and suddenly couldn't see any grand movement toward collective technocratic orgasm, but only chaos on the lip of a void:

But I still fear that Karzai is ready to fight to the last U.S. soldier. And once we clear, hold and build Afghanistan for him, he is going to break our hearts.

A moment of doubt from Tom Friedman? Someone should get him to a cab driver in Bangalore, stat.

Mr.Fundamental said...

he's just helping her conceive, man!

IOZ said...

Better than breaking our balls, I suppose, although that frankly seems the more likely outcome.

Anonymous said...

I love the "build Afghanistan for him" part. I mean, I love that.

Drill, baby, drill.

NutellaonToast said...

" And once we clear, hold and build Afghanistan for him"

OMG, that's the best alternate history since "The Plots Against America!"

Daniel said...

Let's _eliminate_ him.

Anonymous said...

"fraglie coalition"

its early out west and my eyes are a little weary, so when i first caught this typo i thought it said "fraggle". i'm a little disappointed you didn't actually compare the afghan ruling coalition to fraggle rock.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAZwARbb34Q&feature=related

MichaelRyerson said...

Six months and we turn the corner.

George Jones said...

yeah, i guess it's more like a moment of doubt atop a mountain of hallucinatory batshit optimism.

Ryerson! Obama = Bush.

the talking dog said...

The article, written by two of our best reporters, Dexter Filkins and Mark Landler, noted that “according to Afghan associates, Mr. Karzai recently told lunch guests at the presidential palace that he believes the Americans are in Afghanistan because they want to dominate his country and the region, and that they pose an obstacle to striking a peace deal with the Taliban.”

The article added about Karzai: “ ‘He has developed a complete theory of American power,’ said an Afghan who attended the lunch and who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution. ‘He believes that America is trying to dominate the region, and that he is the only one who can stand up to them.’ ”



A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

MichaelRyerson said...

George Jones, suggest you read slowly or have someone read for you, i.e. only Bush=Bush, Obama=Obama. math is obviously not your long suit, suggest you attempt political commentary without the math allusions. work on the nuance. you'll be glad you did. you're welcome.

Anonymous said...

Ned Ryerson?

Bing!

Brian M said...

If Bush = A, with A Expanded Presidential prerogatives, increased defense spending, an industry written social program paid for by its victims, and mewlings about American Exceptionalism....

and

if Obama + B, with B including all of the above....

then it is not strictly true that A=B for all situations, but A is pretty darn close to B.

MichaelRyerson said...

ew, that was good! so droll! now go for the minor spelling errors. a site, it would seem, full of pissants. the angst of spoiled children.

Lysander said...

Its a sad day for empire when even the feeblest and most dependent of puppets starts talking back.

Perhaps its even sadder if the empire grows so paranoid, it suspects its puppets of rebellion even as they remain firmly tied to string.

Anonymous said...

RYERSON!

you are like the anti-inkberrow. keep fighting the good fight, brother.

Lysander said...

Wow. I just a had a second look at it. Poor Thom. Will the white man never be able to set down his heavy burden? Of only Afghans showed more appreciation for all America has done for them.

Anonymous said...

It's good to know that Ryerson can be summoned.

Ryerson! Obama is the functional equivalent of Bush.

Anonymous said...

"ew, that was good! so droll! now go for the minor spelling errors. a site, it would seem, full of pissants. the angst of spoiled children."

we're not talking about a guy who built the railroads here

buh said...

Little Tommy needs to blow out his brains and go to god like a soldier. Only way to go when the bloody wogs have got to you.

Enron said...

"Love it or hate it, we’re now deep in it." From Jackson to Johnson, you're goddamn right he's living in the past. Is his wife itching to build a mall in Kabul or something? Funny how Tommy applauded Americans who steal elections.

augustus818 said...

@Enron - So that's what we've been doing for the past 8 years, just laying the foundation to turn Afghanistan into a Middle Eastern version of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Now it all makes sense.

AlanSmithee said...

Obama=Bush

Ryerson=Obot

QED

Lunch.

MichaelRyerson said...

stick to declarative sentences. short ones.

Enron said...

"the angst of spoiled children." You're pecking away on a blog, aren't you?

Mr.Fundamental said...

BLAWG

Leonard said...

I think you need a "Friedmania" tag instead of the boring old "Friedman".

Anonymous said...

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
A. Einstein

The only reasonable explanation is that Friedman either is infinitely stupid, or believes that his readers are infinitely stupid.

Capt'n Obvious

P.S. Maybe going with P.T. Barnum, the latter.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Ryerson's not funny enough to be a satire, unfortunately.

MichaelRyerson said...

That's the best you've got? C'mon Oxtrot, put your back into it. Start with a premise, here's one for you, write as though I give a shit what you think. See what you can do with that. It's got to come out better than that dribble.

MichaelRyerson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NutellaonToast said...

Yeah, but Ryerson's a pervert, dude.

MichaelRyerson said...

witless.