Monday, May 07, 2012

Ariadne auf Batcave

In an otherwise snippy review in which Anthony Lane mostly laughs at NERDS, he says something very true:

And it always is the world. One of the failings of Marvel—as of other franchises, like the “Superman” series—is the vulgarity that comes of thinking big. As a rule, be wary of any guy who dwells upon the fate of mankind, unless he can prove that he was born in Bethlehem. Superheroes who claim to be on the side of the entire planet are no more to be trusted than the baddies who seek to trash it, nor is the aesthetic timbre of the movies in which they both appear.
So I should say, as one who thinks the artistic merits of cinema as a medium are immensely overblown, I like schlock action and operatic scifi.  They are, to my mind, what the screen ought to be: entertainment inflated until it defies exegesis through sheer indifference to any meaning beyond the superficial.  On the other hand, in an age that measures everything in the hundreds of millions of dollars, these movies tend to bloat, and a swashbuckling good time seems inevitably to grind itself to a metallic halt in the third act when the fate of the world, nay, worlds hangs in the balance.  Must all villains desire world domination?  Couldn't we have an action flick where the bad guy wants, I don't know, beachfront property on Antigua?  Didn't Batman used to fight crime instead of enacting a righteous Job-like confrontation with the vast, inhuman and implacably incomprehensible otherness of the divine?  Like all discounts, saving the world threatens to stick at the lower price; in the endless downward march to rock bottom, every man of modest ambition threatens some kind of Ragnarok; every squid farmer gets a kraken; every misplaced dropkick threatens to tear the very fabric of space and time asunder.  At a certain point the layering of ridiculousness collapses the whole pastry--the ingredients haven't changed, and yet it's nothing you'd ever want to eat.

34 comments:

High Arka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IOZ said...

Your click, like your ticket, is your vote for this drivel.

ShatteredMonocle said...

Still waiting on the Plant of the Apes review.

Anonymous said...

had the misfortune of watching both the star trek reboot & terminator:salvation in close sequence.

ioz, it's worse than all that.

can't you save all of time, space, and dimension WITHOUT also solving all your mommy & daddy issues, and the racism (spock) and and...? how many times do we have to save in the past The Kid who is the future so he can then save his own past by saving his father who is his future today? the array of stupid is dizzying.

fuck it, let's watch a movie about bowling.

IOZ said...

Dude, let me just say, tho, that Terminator 3 with the cast (read: Arnold) commentary track on is like the highest point in comedy.

davidly said...

The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!

Leonard said...

Arka: "If you're reading it, it's for you."

Tthe great thing about IOZ's cultural interests (as versus his vote), is that if you don't like democracy, or the New Yorker, or Hollywood's latest action flick, then you don't have to partake of them. Don't read IOZ if he starts talking about them. Read something else! Perhaps the latest progressive thoughts from feministe. (Did you know it's really not a problem that Elizabeth Warren cheated because, you know, you can get into a "white lady" club with just one out of innumerable ancestors who fit the bill?)

By contrast, if IOZ votes for Obama and Obama is elected by a one-vote margin, then you get Obama whether you wanted him or not.

Leonard said...

BTW, for those curious, when I went looking for something monumentally stupid for Arka to feast upon, not only did my first choice blog feministe deliver, but that particular entry was the most recent posting. Kismet.

C. Nihilist said...

Mark Ruffalo > Edward Norton

Sorry said...

The fact is that the scene I was most concerned about was the scene where I arrive again naked.

miarcus beli said...

Shorter IOZ: "I hate art."

Rob Payne said...

Ioz hates art because Arnold is art?

NutellaonToast said...

but he said he likes Arnold...

Christopher said...

See, I'm not sure scale is the problem, here. A lot of the brainless blockbusters of the past, your Star Wars, your Indiana Jones, were also about THE FATE OF THE WORLD! But I can't think of a dumb movie from the 80s that felt as much like wading through molasses as Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

Or compare Michael Bay's Transformers to the idiotic theatrical cartoon from the 80s; the cartoon is half as long as the live action, and yet somehow manages to have even more action.

Smugly Superior Slut said...

So you are a hypocrite if you watch movies and think the modern democratic state is a fiction. Because...?

Obviously I'm not a golfer.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this IOZ, it was a good way to start the week.

Anonymous said...

What's the point of commanding an anti-feminist to reconstruct thyself, and read a soft feminist blog as punishment? Is it 'cos she's a woman, and all women tap into the same hivemind? Arka's been using Sacred Rape Victims as analogies of late, but she hardly sympathizes with them.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

I don't know M'sieur, I think I'd prefer me some

Ariadne mit Nachos**

Cause, hu-pa! - them Greek girls are kinda resinous, if you know what I mean.

Well actually, no you wouldn't.

Anyway, turning to more substantive matters, future chroniclers of the 21st century Zeitgeist taking shape before our very eyes will rank that post right up there with Susan Sontag's seminal essays on camp in the middle of the last century,

** note to the lumpencommentariat

Nachos ... Naxos ... (see?)

Anonymous said...

Ariadne wasn't "Greek," bro.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

bro@ 7:44

I see your knowledge of the relevant domains runs the gamut from A to B (as Dorothy Parker famously said), but unfortunatelty not the gamut from Linear A to Linear B.

But thanks for a response that's at least arguable ...

Anonymous said...

Much like your amusing inflection gaffe a while back, it seems you're in need of some remedial classical learnin'.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

nonny@8:25

you mean that business about a being the nominative for a neuter as well as feminine declension?

that was not a gaffe - it was a choice that I made to score one off Nutsy

but - thanks for bringing it up - really - it's good to know one is being followed so closely ...

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

with Susan Sontag's seminal essays on camp ...

M'sieur - I wanted to add to that:

"(or your seminal ejaculations at summer camp)"

but I couldn't figure out the right prosody at the time ...

Anonymous said...

Dude, saving the world has been the entertainment of choice since Gilgamesh.

Anonymous said...

Marvel sucks DC roolz.

James N. said...

I find it mildly interesting that the original Marvel Comics dudes in the '60's arguably anticipated IOZ's point.

The Hulk starts out as a bomb-builder, until he realizes that killing children makes him a monster. Whereupon he's hunted down like a dog by unquestioning soldier goons. Iron Man, the embodiment of the military-industrial complex, was based on Howard Hughes, who was unstable and dangerous. Captain America, fresh from the ice, spent a good year having nervous breakdowns in public, and nobody noticed because they were too busy hero-worshiping the military man. (He would then go on to lead a team of terrorists as the second Avengers team.)

This is sub-text, but in light of Jack Kirby's later politics I don't think it's a stretch.

(Yes, I have wasted my life.)

Anonymous said...

Why would feminizing a man be such a gutbuster to you, bro?

Anonymous said...

Stefano Tamburini's and Tanino Liberatore's comic book creation, Rank Xerox (later changed to Ranxerox because of a threatened lawsuit by you know who),was a much more honest recipe. He was made from Xerox photocopier parts and programmed for ultra-violence.

"Ranxerox is a punk, futuristic Frankenstein monster, and with the under-aged Lubna, they are a bizarre Beauty and the Beast. This artist and writer team have turned a dark mirror to the depths of our Id and we see reflected the base part of ourselves that would take what it wants with no compromise, no apology - and woe to the person who would cross us. But it is all done with a black, wry, satirical sense of humor."
-Richard Corben


Oh, and whether you like art or not, be sure not to miss the quality of Tamburini's drawing. It's on par with that of his forefathers, Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci.

Anonymous said...

Ranx à New York.

http://youtu.be/78nN3TJhPIE

Anonymous said...

1st time this anony has gotten a response from ioz. it's like a scene out of ghost whisperer or touched by an angel.

terminator 3? that car crash/chase scene is pretty fun, but i love when the 2 kids go waltzing into Norad or whatever and she yells, "DADDY!" to the head of the double super secret top program, Star Net or Sky Web or whatever. yeah, standards have fallen in the defense industry's security protocols.

imk said...

It is no wonder that the phrase "Reductio Ad Absurdum" gets no play any longer. It isn't so much a refutation of an argument these days as it is a recipe for a successful movie.

Alexander said...

Couldn't we have an action flick where the bad guy wants, I don't know, beachfront property on Antigua?

Quick, to the bat-fax!

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